How I became a crazy dog lady….

We have four small dogs which I have to attribute to my general love of animals and also some sort of mental weakness when face to face with cute puppies…. In my defense my husband is just as bad and my son has a tendency to egg me on – so much so that I can’t be around puppies any longer in case I end up taking them home.

However I had always prided my self on not being the “crazy” pet owner – despite many pleas from family I put my foot down when it came to clothing. My dogs had dignity –  they did not wear outfits and so therefore I was not crazy – indisputable logic! (Of course this did not apply to putting a tiny sombrero on the cat – because that was clearly hysterical)

So what happened? To be fair 3 of the 4 dogs do not wear outfits – we have 3 King Charles Cavaliers which are my favorite breed of dog – they are sweet natured and very lovable – they are also incredibly girly and cute with long flowing ears, silky coats and big brown eyes – they need no adornment so perhaps that has been my saving grace…slowed my descent into crazy dog ladydom…..

Exhibit 1 - this is a cavalier

Exhibit 2 - Gizmo and the dried soup incident

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But then a couple years ago our beloved old man beagle Buddy passed away – it was his time –  he was very old – completely deaf and very sick – but it was devastating for us all and to ease his loss Jonathon got to pick out a new puppy. Enter Gizmo – the Chorkie….

For those of you not in the know, a Chorkie is a Chihuahua/ Yorkshire Terrier mix – I know – who comes up with this sort of crazy hybrid? But she was so cute with giant radar dish ears and fetch as a built in feature, we brought her home…. Now you have to understand that Gizmo is a scrappy, scruffy little thing – cute a a button – but the polar opposite of the “Girly Cavaliers” While they are universally perceived as female dogs by everyone, despite 2 of them being male –  Gizmo is always mistaken as a boy… In fact we thought she was a boy dog until faced with obvious lack of an important appendage during the purchase process. We just bought a pink collar instead of the blue one and all was well.

Once we got her home, we noticed she was a little shivery at night – perhaps it was the Chihuahua in her and so I took the first tentative step towards madness – I bought her a t-shirt….I can’t begin to tell you how stupid I felt bringing my small shivery dog into one of “those” stores and picking out an outfit for her. In my defense it was not for decoration, but for warmth but I still felt like and idiot and ran hurriedly for the car, eyes on the ground after the purchase.

The funny thing was she seemed to love wearing it and over time we picked up a couple shirts for her that she wore when it was a little colder – I slowly came to terms with the fact that we had a dog that sometimes wore “clothes”. The embarrassment faded a little – supported by the fact that poor Gizmo was the odd man out and everyone seemed to treat her differently.

One day, picking up all the dogs from the groomers, this was clearly illustrated by the staff bringing out 3 shiny, glossy Cavaliers and one bedraggled looking Gizmo with a crooked pink bow they had tried to attach to her wiry coat – one shake of her little head and the thing flew across the room. “We just wanted her to look pretty but we can’t get it to stay in” proclaimed the distressed groomer.

The old Sesame Street song started playing in my head

One of these things is not like the others
One of these things just doesn’t belong
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time i finish my song?

Poor Gizmo

And so it began – for Halloween we bought her a biker jacket and gave her a faux hawk – which she was not too happy about – the jacket was too stiff so she wouldn’t move – the following year we got her a shark costume because the dog in the picture looked just like her and it made us all laugh – I am still kicking myself about not purchasing the pink pig costume that we spied in TJ Maxx for the same reason….

In the meantime we moved to Florida and Gizmo got a new nickname G6 (because of the song constantly playing on the radio at the time)  “Looking so fly like a G6” became her theme song –  so much so that as soon as anyone sang it she came running over – proud as punch. (I know this is clearly the second stage of madness – don’t judge me!!!!)

We were having a New Year’s party and it suddenly became clear to me that Gizmo needed a party dress – I am not sure what I was under the influence of – perhaps the full moon – perhaps a Grey Goose Slushy  – but that was obviously the point of no return….

G6 in her LBD

Gizmo - the pirate wench

Suffice to say Gizmo was now the proud owner of a LBD (Little Black Dress with polka dots and a ruffle on her butt – remember I said not to judge me!) She was the hit of the party and loved all the attention. Perhaps because of this as soon as you say “Party Dress” she comes running over immediately….

But it didn’t stop there – just this weekend in St Augustine – home of many people inexplicably dressed up as pirates, I bought her a pirate dress…..

So reader beware – this is how a previously sane woman started buying outfits for her dog. That’s ok I have mostly come to terms with it  – but if I start dressing them up and reenacting scenes from Gone with the Wind you have my full permission to shoot me….